DemocraSay

I think the best way to clear up misrepresentations of one's religious beliefs is first of all, to make sure that the other party is interested in discussing the issue before beginning a conversation about it. Some people are uncomfortable talking about other's beliefs, while some people are curious about other's religious holdings.

If you find someone criticizing your belief system in a public forum, you can interject a comment like, "Well, I've practiced this religion for 10 years, and I've never found that to be the case in my own experience." Or something like, "Could you clarify the particular facts in your discussion of that religion? I'm only asking because that is the belief that I hold, and I have not yet found anything to have happened like that in my life."

Most of the time people are discourteous or ill spoken of other's religious beliefs because they are ignorant of the basis of the teaching, or the intent of the teaching. While I hold my own religious beliefs that are important to me, I find that discussing them with people who are combative are argumentative from the beginning is truly a waste of time for the both of us, so I just remember the old adage that "some things are truly best left unsaid."

I wish you the best in this matter,

Marina

I'm trying to figure out why 'religion' was introduced on this site as a topic. There is nothing good that can come out of it. It will only cause incendiary comments, heated arguments disguised as intelligent debates which will then result in a bunch of P.O'd, chagrined & incredulously insulted Believers of all faiths. Ain't a doggone thing gonna get solved. Ahh, it started off innocent enough but inevitably as with all 'controversial' (I love quote marks LOL!) sparks are beginning to fly and all "HELL NAW AIN'T NO HELL" broke loose. Oh, for the love of...dare I say CHRIST!

The only limitations in life are the ones you set for yourself!
www.staceyandtraceeconsulting.com

C'mon if it were not for religious persecution this planet would be way over populated, I mean seriously do you have any idea how many people have been butchered, tortured or just plain old burned at the stake in the name of some fictitious overseer?

There is a great quote from the movie Angel Heart, Robert Deniro, as Satan, is explaining to his newly acquired catch, "there is just enough religion in the world to make men hate each other, but not enough to make them love." I think that about sums up the role of the great "opiate for the masses".

namaste

My suggestion is to use humor to bring up the subject and then gently state your opinion:
1) Any controversy in this country is immediately followed by jokes about it in the media. If you didn't hear any jokes about the particular controversy you are concerned about, do an internet search and see what turned up on late night talk shows, cable comedy shows, talk radio, newspaper cartoon, etc.

2) Pick out some jokes that appeal to the type of humor your friends enjoy.

3) At an appropriate moment, in the midst of casual conversation tell them the joke or a couple of them.

4) After you all have had a good laugh say, "Isn't that hysterical? And the really funny thing is that I know alot of people now think that that's the way all [whatever your religion is] are. But as usual the press has highlighed some fringe activities and blown it up to represent the entire religion. But hey, that's their job right? Anyway, if you ever have any questions about [your religion] feel free to ask me because I know that there is alot of misinformation floating around right now.

This will open the door so that hopefully they feel comfortable asking any questions right then or later so that you can address any specific misconceptions they have.

So as not to sound like a defensive religious fanatic, I'd wait for the favorable time, place and mood to discuss the issue. These three: time, venue and mood are essential factors in coming up with a fruitful, light hearted and diplomatic (not heated) exchange of views. A nonchalant manner of discussion is preferable to avoid making them feel like they're going in for a debate or something. Concrete examples would be while window shopping or maybe while playing crossword puzzles or whatever relaxing games with them. In a subtle way, I would lead them into opening the issue by mixing or injecting the topic in between other subject matters. To directly broach the topic might make me appear personally affected or emotionally involved. Establishing my 'disinterest' on the issue is important to make the conversation as casual as possible. That way, no one will be holding his/her guards up-- no prejudices; everybody is conditioned for an OBJECTIVE and open-minded free flowing discussion.

I will start by asking a common topic of interest like:

'So, have you heard Leona Lewis's Keep Bleeding?'

and gradually move to:

'that news about ( state the religion without using 'my' as in 'my religion' ) created quite a stir, didn't it?

If you manage to maintain a controlled and casual queries, extracting points of view, apprehensions and negative criticisms from them will not come across as interrogation. You can also get them to confide if you make it appear like you need their advice or if you can get them to feel like you're solving a mystery together:

'You think those reports are real? I'm kinda bothered myself. After all, it's the religion I'm into.'

When you have done this part of 'information gathering', you are now ready to address each 'misrepresentation'.

Still maintaining the casualness of the chat, you now put yourself at the same emotional and mental level of your friend by saying:

'Yeah, I hear you out. Frankly, I wouldn't like people to think that I approve those beliefs and practices, you know.'

Then proceed to setting the facts:

'So, I did a little digging myself and, guess what, I found out those reports were inaccurate and erroneous.'

Discuss one by one the inaccuracies in relation to the misinterpretations, maintaining neutrality and objectivity the entire time.

To give and leave the impression of the discussion as a casual and friendly exchange of intelligent ideas instead of clashing of minds and beliefs, make sure you end the discussion in a casual tone:

'Hey, but if any of those reports were true, I'd be the first to 'abandon ship'. Look over there, Christian Louboutin pumps! Let's go give it a check'

There's always a next time if you really feel the need for a more thorough discussion on the topic. That was only the 'ice breaker' and a way to present yourself as an open minded person whom your friends can discuss sensitive issues with without the need for them to hold back emotions or opinions.

It takes patience... and suave ;-)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
LIVE FAST, RETIRE YOUNG

It is unfortunate when people fall victim to "myths" or misrepresentations with religion. Since religion tends to be such a touchy subject to discuss, the best thing that you can do is remain calm when you talk about it. Don't raise your voice when you are talking about the subject and, even more importantly, do not show your anger - even though you may become angry when discussing the subject. Tell your friends exactly what you want them to know, but do not make it seem as though you are trying to shove your religious beliefs down their throats. The best way to do this is to make sure that you sound as though yourself when talking to a friend. Do not allow yourself to sound like a preacher.

The most important thing that you should remember is that people are not always going to believe you and for that reason, you should not expect them to. If they do believe you, that's great, but don't let it get to you if they don't. People can be very stubborn about their religious beliefs and they usually do not want to be told that they are wrong. If it is possible, try using documented evidence to show that what you are saying is true, but even in this situation, there will still be some who will not believe what you have to say.

Religion can be a very difficult topic to discuss. The best way for you to clear up the religious misrepresentations with your friends is to let them experience your religion with you. This doesn't mean that they have to attend services, since they may not feel comfortable with that; however, maybe you could invite them to your house when your family is celebrating a holiday. Or you could casually share a simple religious tradition with them. This will allow you to informally explain the religious relevance of the tradition, without seeming like a lecture.
Experiencing a new religion gives them a broader perspective on life and helps them grow as a person. In addition, it can bring you and your friends closer, since you are sharing an important part of your life with them. You can't control other people's thoughts and opinions, so giving them the opportunity to observe your religious practices and beliefs is all you can do. At least they will base their judgements on what they have seen and experienced, and not solely on how the media portrays it.

Michel
I have found out over the years a strong defense of your faith is to live it up. People can see you are different by being polite, considerate and if you made a mistake willing to apologize or even ask forgiveness.

Lately the Mormon Church has been in the limelight with the scandal in Texas for polygamists. Most people that meet Mormons know them to be polite, well educated helpful and kind. An offshoot group does not represent what most others are doing.

We need to be tolerant and accepting other people's beliefs as a way to express themselves. The only truth we need to know for Christians is "you will know if they are my disciples if they have love for one another."

Prayer also is a way to reach out to people when they are in pain. I have a catholic friend wishing a baby. I just pray for her and hope for the best. She has been touched and considering studying with our pastor.

If they need a job, help them..and if they are hungry, feed them. Doing is much better than talking about doctrines that do not lead anywhere but distress and unhappiness. God is love and everybody knows it. Prejudice is not healthy in any situation unless you have walked at least a mile with that person. Then you will see
the truth and the truth shall set you free.

Keep smiling and the world will smile back at you.

Wander brought up execellent points. I might also add.

1a.) Always PRAY before engaging in any conversations of this nature
1b.) Seek the perfect opportunity to speak about such a sensitive topic
2) Forego 'defending' your religious beliefs because it just comes off as defensive and we all know that debating about politics and religion is an exercise in futility
3) Instead of defending just talk about what your ideology and beliefs have done for you or rather how believing in said religion has shaped you, helped you evolve or been beneficial to your life. Always speak from experience and not what you've heard
4) Present positive examples that refute all of the negativity that you said has been swirling about
5) Ask them for their honest opinion about your religion and to substantiate their claims/opinions
6) Be at peace with whatever your friends/colleagues/family members decide because ultimately you canNOT control a person's thoughts, opinions, actions, beliefs, etc.

The only limitations in life are the ones you set for yourself!
www.staceyandtraceeconsulting.com

From: wanderingpaedagogus
To: xmile
Subject: Misrepresentation advice
Date: Tue, 05/20/2008 - 12:03pm

Honesty is always the best policy.

Initiate conversation by verbally establishing that you are not interested in or attempting to convert anyone.

Be clear that you value their friendship, and that you feel compelled to clarify the erroneous information that may be adversely affecting their view of you or your faith.

If they're receptive, talk it out.

If they're hesitant, give them space and revisit the topic down the road.

Ultimately, just let it go.